Amber Mystery: 2017

My bracelet design is called YOU & ME, TOGETHER FOREVER. Inspired by my recent pregnancy loss. This bracelet design represents my transition from a dark place of loss to a brighter place of acceptance and hope. Hence the gradual transitioning of the rubber links from dark to lighter shades while still complimenting one another. Here is the story behind it.

We were looking forward to share this great news with our family and friends. We are having a baby. DH said we would go baby shopping in 2 days. How exciting! I had gone into the bathroom to pee when i noticed slight blood stain after wiping. Following reassurance in A&E we went back home. No worries, after all, the bleeding had stopped.

Abdominal cramp started the following evening, No! this can not be good. Slight cough and pop! there it was, massive clot. We rushed to A&E again. After examinations, doctor informed us it was a threatened miscarriage and we can only wait and see. I cried and prayed, i laid still in bed, maybe if i don't move, i won't bleed anymore, maybe my pregnancy will stay. No it didn't. I had an incomplete miscarriage that night.

My miscarriage happened unexpectedly and it hit me really hard as i was really looking forward to my baby. This opened my eyes to the experience of so many women out there and their silent sufferings. It occurred during the pregnancy and baby loss awareness week and as i joined in on the campaign on social media, i could literally feel the pain of many families that have gone through my experience (some repeatedly and even worse). Being a very fresh experience at the time, i really could not stop the tears and pain, i was in a dark place, i had days i would scream out and then curl up in a corner shaking, literally numb. This was not just because of our loss but more so because of the ignorance of healthcare providers and the community at large.

My healthcare providers repeatedly told me not to worry, the rest is just going to be like having a heavy period, it will soon pass. I heard my baby being repeatedly described as a product. Family and friends reminded me another pregnancy will come and i will forget this ever happened. Well they were all wrong.

To my healthcare providers, it was worse than period, i was in pain for days both physically and emotionally as my uterus cramped like labour and i watched each bit come out until i eventually passed my baby in a bathroom. No! not a product, i saw my formed baby, the one i loved from the moment i found out i was pregnant. It still hasn't passed, every time DH and i walk past a baby shop we remember however far gone would have been now.

To my family and friends, i appreciate you and i understand you were all trying to help. I do hope another pregnancy comes along, but no, it will not replace the previous pregnancy, just the way having another baby will not replace a stillbirth or an infant death. They are not spare parts, they don’t get replaced.

I am grateful for the opportunity to grieve my loss. I was able to take time off, and bond with my loved ones. This is not the same for many other women and families, who have been taught to hold in their pain and act like nothing ever happened. People need to understand that the pain is real, and some of these events have broken up families and left women in depression.

I have transitioned from a dark place to a brighter place where i am informed about the struggles of other women and i do hope that soon i can create a platform that gives women and families in general the opportunity to talk about their experiences, hoping to get some closure as well as inspiring and comforting others who have had similar journey.

To every person, every family that has experienced some form of loss, my words to you are

Stay strong.

Know that it was not your fault

Remember that you are loved

Grieve if it makes you feel better

Come out more courageous

Share with others so they know how to help you

My bracelet is called You & Me, Together Forever and i will always cherish this gift. This bracelet is a reminder that our losses are always close to us. Close to our hearts, closer than we think. Together Forever.

Massive thanks to XJEWELLERY for this collaboration and giving me the opportunity to tell my story. Xjewellery is an amazing accessory company with the motto 'madebyyou', that is because you get to pick your own individual links and design your bracelet on their website. Awesome right! Well they also stand for women empowerment and 10% of xjewellery profits goes to X Foundation, supporting women with dreams, who apply for the funds.

I have included all the links to Xjewellery web shop and my bracelet below. Don't forget one of my Instagram followers will get a chance to win this bracelet and everyday heroes calendar. So be sure to check Xjewellery out, follow them on Instagram and Facebook.

Thank you for stopping by and have a great week.